How to Pick Up Women

By Dean Cortez, Mack Tactics

In “Mack Tactics” my best-selling seduction strategy book for men, I stress that originality is the most important quality that you can convey to a woman—from the way you dress, to how you approach the ladies and engage them in conversation.

On the other hand, when you fail to make a unique impression, she’s going to automatically lump you in with the last 37 chumps who tried to buy her a drink—and within three minutes of you paying for her $12 cocktail, she’ll be excusing herself to “go find her friend.”

(Don’t you just hate when women say that? As if her friend is lost somewhere in the nightclub, in desperate need of food and water…)

The key to building a bond with her is to engage her attention and get her to share information about herself. Then you’ll tell her how much you relate and establish rapport with her. One of my favorite conversational tactics for accomplishing this is using Cold Reads. This technique, which is used to great effect by psychics and palm readers, is a way to make the other person feel like you understand what makes them tick, and what they’re going through, without them telling you.

The trick with Cold Reads is that the “observations” you’re making apply to virtually anyone. Yet there are psychological reasons why they work so effectively. Human beings are self-centered, and we generally accept claims about ourselves that reflect how we wish to be. Also, people are vain. We want to be seen as unique. Even though Cold Reads are usually vague generalizations—which would apply to your Aunt Bernice, just as they would to the hottie partying with her friends at the nightclub—we want to agree with the person who skillfully “reads” us, and we’ll believe they have unusual powers of perception.

So forget about asking the generic “job interview” questions. (”So what’s your name,” “where are you from,” etc.) If I’m in a club, talking to some babe who’s acting a bit hard to get, I’ll bust out a Cold Read:

“Y’know, Lisa, I get the sense that a lot of guys get the wrong idea when they first meet you. They think you’re stand-offish and a bit cold. But you’re actually a lot more sensitive, and funny, than people realize.”

Another example: “I get the sense it takes you a while to trust people, because you’ve been hurt before by someone who was really close to you. But the people that do earn your trust, you would do anything for them.”

Or, “I can tell that you’re someone who usually plays it safe and doesn’t take chances, but sometimes you’ve regretted it because you missed out an opportunity. But then other times, you’re spontaneous and adventurous, and you do take chances…and that’s when you’ve had some of the best times of your life.”

If she agrees with one of these “reads”—and honestly, I’ve never had a woman flat-out disagree—I’ll follow up by telling her that I can totally relate, because I’m the same way. This builds a bond between me and her. In order to solidify the bond, I’ll tell a quick story—one that illustrates how I’m the same type of person. (If you’ve got five Cold Reads ready to use, you should also have five short stories to illustrate how you embody those same qualities.)

A similar tactic is using “Barnum statements,” named after the circus showman P.T. Barnum.

These statements apply to just about anybody, but give the impression that you’re tapping into her inner psyche. My favorite is, “I can tell something has been weighing on your mind. You’re on the verge of making an important decision in your life, aren’t you.”

Pretty much all of us, at any given time, are contemplating a big decision (or one that is big to us, at least). Regardless, she’ll be surprised and impressed that you knew that about her. She’ll probably volunteer more information—and now you’re engaged in a deep, authentic conversation instead of trying to fill awkward pauses, or drag her onto the dance floor.

Much of what a cold reader does is simply repeating back what the subject has said, as if he already knew the answer. If she affirms that she’s on the verge of making a big decision, nod wisely and say, “Yes, that’s right, and you’re really having a hard time with it.” Claim her answer as your own.

Some other Cold Reads that are vague yet “profound”:

“You have a strong need for others to like and admire you, but you also have a tendency to be critical of yourself.”

“You’ve got a hidden talent, or a passion, that most people don’t know about, and you want to pursue it— but something is holding you back.”

“At times, you’re really social and outgoing. But other times, you’re reserved and introverted.”

Now that you understand the idea behind Cold Reads, you can invent your own. Based on her vibe, the way she’s dressed, and how she acts during the first few minutes of conversation, you should be able to use a “read” that applies to her.

This is just one example of an original, thought-provoking conversational tactic. To learn the complete arsenal, and how to use them with expert precision in any situation, visit Mack Tactics and get ready to take your game – and lifestyle – to a whole new level.